It’s Sunday, a day when attention-seeking pundits across the nation are paid to appear on opinion shows whether they know what they’re talking about or not. If they can be overpaid to spout off on national TV, surely I can do the same here for free. So in the spirit of free enterprise, here’s what I think about various sorts of things.
The 2008 Presidential Race: Gore/Obama would be my dream ticket. I would happily vote for any of the Democratic front-runners, however. Hillary makes me a little nervous because she’s such a centrist. Obama is too, but you can’t tell yet because he hasn’t said anything substantial. Edwards just might take it, especially if the big names implode for some reason. And they all would be way better than anyone the Republicans have to offer, not to mention the current resident of the White House.
Dennis Kucinich: Should go back to Cleveland. He’s a nice guy, has some admirable goals, but he is not a person I would ever want in the Oval Office. Case in point: his proposed Department of Peace. This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard of. Why not just establish a Department of Euphemism and call it a day? Really, there is nothing wrong with the Department of Defense that we have now, except it mostly functions as a Department of Offense. Words are words. Labels do not signify change. And I can’t imagine spending yet more millions of dollars shuffling people and offices around the Capitol at a time when that money is needed so desperately other places. So please, Dennis, go home.
Software I Hate Most: Photoshop. God, just writing the name makes me shudder. For any seemingly simple task, Photoshop has not one easy way to do it but 15 ways that each require a manual to show you how, a dictionary to understand what the hell they’re saying, a private tutor to tell you to try it another way, and a good belt of whiskey to even attempt the process. Then it will take you three hours to do it right, or less time if you just bail and pay someone else to do it. Yes, it would be bad enough if it was just arcane, labyrinthine, and virtually impenetrable software. But now the name has become a verb, which is basically unforgivable. There must be a new ring of Hell invented to encompass all the torments heaped onto society by Photoshop.
Favorite Funny Blog Names: There are two winners in this category so far. I’ll list them in the order I found them, which means that Get In the Car! goes first. Jen Magnuson writes this, though how she finds the time to blog daily and be consistently funny about motherhood is beyond me. She has four kids and a big car, hence the clever blog name. Next is Whatever It Is, I’m Against It. Whenever I need a reminder of what an absolute train wreck of a president we have, or need to laugh at some recent political inanity, this site usually does the trick. Lots of pictures, too.
Favorite Birthday Party: That would have to be my 25th, when my friends and I went out for Indian food—which I don’t even like—in order to feel like we’d had our fair share of lentils before coming home and having a chocolate fondue party! That was 30 minutes of absolute chocolate mania, followed by an hour and a half of lying around nearly comatose. But during the manic part it was really fun.
In five years I’ll be 50 and Lyra will be 25. Oh yeah, I guess I had that big chocolate binge party while I was pregnant. Oops. Anyway, I think we will have to do something huge to celebrate the fact of having a combined score of 75%. That’s a passing grade—drinks all around! It will be hard to outdo a chocolate fondue party, though. I guess what I’m saying is that I’m going to go eat some chocolate now. Maybe with a whiskey chaser, just in case I come across something I have to rasterize.